New

So clearly I have been avoiding this part (the blogging part) of my circles duties but I just haven't found the motivation to sit down and write about myself and how I'm doing.

I'm in a weird place. Everything in this season of life is new. New house. New job. New routines. New friends (you guys). And all this NEW is a good kind of NEW. I should be fine. I'm not scared of new. Typically, I'm the kind of person who likes new very much. Who decides on a whim to travel or move somewhere just for the sake of newness. I like when things change and I've thought for so long that I thrive on it. Well here I am in the midst of all this newness and I'm feeling anything but new. I feel Old. Numb. Complacent. I feel like God has been preparing me for this season and now that I'm here, I have no idea what to do with it, or with myself. I'm not grasping on to what he's given me and I'm not striving to see what role he has given me in his story.

But I want to want more of God. I long to desire his will so much that my agenda no longer matters. I know that God satisfies those who hunger and thirst after him but I need to get to that point. I want to yearn for Him and not be satisfied by anything else.

I guess I want to catch up to the rest of the newness in my life. I want to be made new and in that newness seek God and find him and find myself in him.

Side note: After sitting down to read a lot of your blogs, I felt fuller. As I stepped back from my own life to look at even a few of your stories, it is clear that God is doing his thing and he's so much bigger than I usually give him credit for. Thanks for being so open and real in your posts.