Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Ordinary radicals

I read an article today that totally hit home with me. It's about a couple who wanted to live radically. Who moved to Africa and China and lived on basically nothing and when they came home to the U.S. found themselves struggling to live radically while paying bills and buying expensive things. If you have a second you should read this...

It gave me a fresh perspective on what it means to live like Jesus and for him. To not get stuck into conformity but to make tough decisions and risks even in the mundane everyday life. Yes, it's necessary to buy certain things, but it gets messy when we view those things as an end-all. Yes, it's difficult to live in community, but that's what we were made for. Yes, some people we know buy a lot of expensive things that we don't really agree with, but who are we to judge? We don't know their motives. And God wants us to enjoy life.

I'm sure all of us have experienced times where we want nothing ordinary, we are sold out to God and his plans for us and we don't care if our surroundings and society think we are weird. But so often we lose that passion and become complacent. So what does it look like to live in the in-between? To understand that doing some things like the world does is okay, but to also take steps that keep us from just blending in with the crowd.

I keep asking myself, "How will you live radically today?" And not for the sake of living radically but because Jesus' kingdom is bigger and better than the world's and I definitely don't want to miss out on it.

Saturday, November 19, 2011


So clearly I have been avoiding this part (the blogging part) of my circles duties but I just haven't found the motivation to sit down and write about myself and how I'm doing.

I'm in a weird place. Everything in this season of life is new. New house. New job. New routines. New friends (you guys). And all this NEW is a good kind of NEW. I should be fine. I'm not scared of new. Typically, I'm the kind of person who likes new very much. Who decides on a whim to travel or move somewhere just for the sake of newness. I like when things change and I've thought for so long that I thrive on it. Well here I am in the midst of all this newness and I'm feeling anything but new. I feel Old. Numb. Complacent. I feel like God has been preparing me for this season and now that I'm here, I have no idea what to do with it, or with myself. I'm not grasping on to what he's given me and I'm not striving to see what role he has given me in his story.

But I want to want more of God. I long to desire his will so much that my agenda no longer matters. I know that God satisfies those who hunger and thirst after him but I need to get to that point. I want to yearn for Him and not be satisfied by anything else.

I guess I want to catch up to the rest of the newness in my life. I want to be made new and in that newness seek God and find him and find myself in him.

Side note: After sitting down to read a lot of your blogs, I felt fuller. As I stepped back from my own life to look at even a few of your stories, it is clear that God is doing his thing and he's so much bigger than I usually give him credit for. Thanks for being so open and real in your posts.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Why wait?

Lately my life has been stuck in a season of waiting. And the phrase, "if you are willing to wait" has come up a lot. Well, two times but in two very big ways.

We've been looking to move into a new apartment for a while (our first one of our married life, since we were sharing with roommates in Uganda and have been living with David's parents since we returned) and at the very beginning of October we found the perfect one. Once we did all the work of applying, getting copies of our licenses, pay stubs, and credit reports we finally go the word back. "If you're willing to wait a month to move in, it's all yours."

And two days ago I called Peet's to follow up after my interview and after being put on hold, was told that "If you are willing to wait 2 more weeks to start, we would be happy to have you."

Yes of course I am willing to wait for a great apartment and a fun coffee shop job at a place I love, but am I happy about it? No. I don't like to wait because I was brought up in a society that tells me I need things now. The snicker's slogan, "Why wait" is a perfect example of our culture's desire to satisfy our needs now. It instills in us that we are entitled to meeting our comforts and wants now and not later.

But isn't there significance in a season of waiting? Aren't there things to be learned and ways to grow during times like these? I know that I will appreciate my job and apartment a lot more because I have waited for them. But what does God want to teach me during this time? And what should I be doing so that I don't miss out?

These are the things I will be pondering for the next few weeks.

Monday, October 10, 2011


I am so inspired by the message last night. Inspired to live in a way that is founded on the fact that I am a child of God and that my identity is found within him.

I am often guilty of living in a way that is defined by outside indicators. One day I can be so happy and confident and free, and the next I'll feel like I have no purpose, no drive, like I'm losing myself. But when I really think about it, it is because I have been finding my identity in what people say to me, what they think of me, what I think of me, the things that I'm doing, and the groups I hang out with. When I don't feel affirmed or loved, or successful, I assume that I'm not instead of assuring myself that it doesn't matter. I grasp onto both positive and negative feedback and allow those to define who I am, and it is constantly changing. But I'm done with that.

Towards the end of the sermon I felt almost a physical freedom just knowing that I am not defined by others, what groups I'm in, or even by what I think about myself. It's a faith issue but I just have to rest assured that I am identified by the way Christ sees me.

So now how do I live in that? What does that look like to be rooted in our loving God and find our identity within him? What does he say about me? What does he call me to?

I can no longer live for myself. I have been reconciled, my trespasses are no longer counted against me, I am a new creation, I have been entrusted to share the message of reconciliation. We are literally God's hands and feet on this earth, so why I am just sitting around? I have a job to do.

My motivation needs to change. What if I did what I do motivated by the surpassing worth of Christ Jesus and who I am in him instead of being motivated by the hope to be known or liked or loved? What if, like Paul, I counted everything else a loss for the sake of knowing Christ?

It's going to be a process and I'm not sure what it looks like, but I will start by focusing this week on being defined by the atoning work of Christ.
Who's with me?

Monday, September 26, 2011


Last night's sermon at Rock Harbor really hit home for me. Mostly because a lot of the ideas spoken were things that I was realizing and feeling earlier that day.

Lately I've been feeling kind of dry. Trapped in my own life and feelings and not really reaching out or attempting to care much about the people around me. I've been feeling stuck and without purpose which has made my focus turn inward and my attitude turn complacent.

Our first meeting as a group was rejuvenating. Not so much listening to all the technical stuff but glancing around the circle at new faces and talking with a few of you knowing that we were all about to start a new journey together brought me joy.

And then as the 7pm worship began I felt something I hadn't felt in a while. I felt alive. Drenched. A part of something bigger. Because I allowed myself to stop dwelling on myself. I allowed myself to look beyond me and see myself as a part of the whole. A slice (if you will). I was worshipping my creator along side a bunch of friends and people I had just met who were worshipping their creator and it was a beautiful thing.

I truly agree with what Jonny said about not being able to live the Christian life alone. It is boring. And stagnant. And leaves little room for growth. And I'm ready for something different. I'm ready to be a part of a family. To be vulnerable. To get to know you people and how to really care for you. And to find my part in it all and to allow God to grow me through relationships with all of you.

Because we need people. We need family. I need you. And you need me.