...if not for perspective

ok so i'm one of those people who likes things more for the packaging they come in. my favorite packages are the ones with little sayings or quotes. i can't get enough of them. dove chocolates, starbucks cups, good earth tea bags. they're great. i love them all. and i find myself eating more doves or getting another starbucks just for the sake of reading the saying and hoping that the one i get will be one that i have never read. it's kind of ridiculous how much i love reading these sayings for the first time. i mean maybe it's because i'm curious as to what could be good enough to make the cut to end up on this fine piece of packaging. or perhaps i am in search of a motto to live by...either way, it's an addiction and keeps me buying more, so props to the marketing companies.
the last good earth tea bag i drank read, "and why do we climb if not for perspective?" possibly one of my favorites thus far. and it got me thinking why do we do most things if not to see life from a new perspective? that quote could have easily said, and why do we paint/ travel/ listen/ run/ bike/etc if not for perspective? i feel like the times where life seems dull are the times when i am stuck looking at it out of the same old lens. i have to do something out of the ordinary and find another vantage point in order to enjoy the things around me.
so that's it then. my brain is stimulated by these simple little words. and with that i am off to drink a cup of tea. good earth of course. i wonder what that tiny piece of paper holds for me

"home"-sick

so i've been back in southern california for almost a month now and it's great. i love being back by the beach with close friends and being back at school...but i still find myself still missing so much about portland. it was only my home for a few months but i think that it will always feel like home to me. 

these are things that i miss most about portland..

choco chip/peanut butter nights with mar

hiking in the gorge

last thursday on alberta street

the view from my room

hood river

powell's

heather

the waterfront

people biking

my roommates

stumptown coffee

sweet potato fries

thunderstorms

my home community (the pearl)

mt tabor

farmers markets

kickball

trips to the coast

eastside p-town

sunday dinners

nw 23rd street

tea chai te

the max

imago people

my friends on sandy and 9th

the air up there

watching the planes land on the runway at night

the drive through the gorge

all of these things make me realize that i will definitely end up there someday...the question is when?

chicken soup for the... vegan soul

you've heard of these books am i right? chicken soup for the dog lover's soul...for the pre-teen soul...for the american idol soul. no joke. these are all real titles. and there are hundreds more that exist in our world today.

but why chicken soup? i'm not sure that would be my choice of sustenance to put on the cover of a book. chicken soup makes me think of being sick and not being able to keep down any solid food so this yellowish chunky nourishment becomes the last resort. why not apple pie for the soul or vanilla latte for the soul. those sound much more appealing to me. but perhaps i'm missing the point of these fairly popular books, i'm just saying that i would have gone about it differently.

my other question is why so many? i mean really, how does the ocean lover's edition differ from the beach lover's? and why is there a woman golfer's soul and a golfer's soul but not a man golfer's soul? and i'm convinced that right at this very moment somewhere, someone is creating yet a new chicken soup book. but perhaps this one will be dedicated to all of those trapeze swinger's souls. who knows. your guess is as good as mine. i'm pretty sure any title is possible except for maybe chicken soup for the vegan or vegetarian soul. that would be a bit contradicting.

..just a thought on a late thursday night

good mo(u)rning sun

yesterday morning i practically jolted out of my slumber due to the crazy bright sun coming through my ever-opened window above my head. a quick glance at the clock told me it was way too early to have my eyes open (6am) and when i finally pulled my lazy body from my twisted sheets to turn around and give the sun a proper good morning i silently scolded myself for not doing so earlier. the rising sun was straight at eye level as i gazed through my 2nd story window and i knew i had probably missed the prettiest view, but nevertheless i saw it and it was beautiful. seemingly overnight, the portland skies had grown hazy and smoky because of the california fires and consequently the sun burned a blood red; the clouds around it attempting to emulate the same deep shade and actually coming quite close in parts. it was almost as if the sun was bleeding as it mourned for the life lost in the california flames. it's crazy to think that the fires affected areas so far north. but what was devestating hundreds of miles away, positively affected things here and created something so beautiful in portland, right outside of my window, almost as if it were just for me to enjoy. and those people directly or indirectly harmed by the fire will never know how much beauty came from their pain. my delight in seeing the sun such a unique color was in no way worth the devestation caused by the fires, but pretty cool to see some sort of redemption.

..check out the tiny lady bug hiding in the flowers, no

doubt basking in the beauty

leaving

it's interesting how sometimes you have to leave where you're at in order to see things for what they are... or perhaps even to see that things aren't what you thought they were. because when you leave the place you are comfortable in you begin to ask questions and start to see things in a new way. you realize that nothing that is happening to you or around you is normal. what is normal? and why are we assumed to behave a certain way? why is it not "normal" to go somewhere whithout having a plan? you begin to question and think harder about the simple and mundane. and in a new place it seems as though nothing can or should be taken for granted because it is all a part of your experience. and you better soak it all up cuz you know you won't be there forever.

when you're stuck in the same place for too long, it's hard to step out of your comfort zone. you become trapped within your daily routines, occasionally trying something new, however, your view of your surroundings has already been set in stone and it is difficult to adjust your eyes to new lighting.

so what's it about? it's about the 2 guys that sell fruit and vegetables on the side of the road. in your own setting, they are just "those guys" and they stay that way in your mind because you are comfortable where you're at and don't feel the need to mingle your life with their's. but in a new place, doing just that is an adventure. those 2 guys become j.r., more affectionately referred to as frickin indiana jones, and jimmy, the hustler, who actually have more in common with you than you think. indiana jones studied cultural anthropology and went on to work with native tribes in the upper north west and jimmy is just trying to make a living and loves fresh cantalope. it makes me wonder who "those guys" are back home.

what i'm getting at is that we take life for granted and even people for granted when we are comfortable. but that's just it. we weren't meant to live comfortable lives centered around ourselves. and it took leaving the things i knew (or thought i knew) for me to figure that out.

so where are you and how long have you been there? perhaps it's time to leave. time to leave your own idea of comfort and venture into the big wide world around you. time to ask questions and see things from a different point of view. it's time to go. so pack your bags. and leave. but don't worry. you'll be back.

mt. tabor...my new favorite place

when you live in a city, it is necessary to have a place of escape. somewhere to go to that no matter what mood you are in, you know that place will be just what you need. in the past that place for me was the beach, but now that the beach is an hour away, i have found my new place. and the name of it is mt. tabor. hiking up and down the winding paths you could almost convince yourself that you're somewhere far away from city life and nature itself is the only company you keep. but once you reach the top, you have a complete and almost breathtaking view of the city below. it's the sight of a city but the sound of nature. you can hear no horns, no cars driving by, no green peace people bribing you to change the world with them.. just birds and wind rustling through the trees, and occasionally the sound of a flute coming from the musician of the mountain(whom i have only spotted once). it's the prime place to read, crochet, journal, modpodge, think, play frisbee, and just be. it's my escape and i will truly miss it when i leave.

In the summertime the sun don't shine in the town we live in..

so i'm beginning to realize the affects of the lack of sunshine in the upper north west. with only 68 out of the 365 days a year being clear, sunny days, it gets a little gloomy here in portland. the thing that i'm confused about is that it's summer time. june 3. ok so not exactly summer, but where are those 68 days of sun? i've seen approximately 3 half days since i've been here, which i guess equals to about 1.5 full days, so there's gotta be at least another 66.5 days of good sunny weather out there just waiting to be found. i've always been a huge fan of rain but i could go for a nice sunshiny day right about now. so in the words of matt costa; it's summertime come on take the sun off the shelf. but it's so gloomy. doo doo. yeah it's so gloomy.

things i suck at

ever since i moved to portland i've been looking for a job. people hiring right now are few and far between..apparently i need to try again, "further into summer." that's what i keep being told anyway. so since i have a lot of free time on my hands, these are some things i have realized that i suck at.
underlining.
folding maps back the way they were before i opened them.
reading a book withought skipping ahead to the next paragraph or next chapter or even the last page when a word or different font catches my eye.
naming things.
remembering movie titles.
getting my words out in an order that makes sense (dannae, you know this).
waking up to my alarm.
tennis.
watching black at white movies.
guessing people's age.
putting away my laundry within 3 days after taking it out of the dryer.
fake laughing.
rolling my tongue.
talking to pets.
remembering where i put my keys.
remembering most things.
calling people back.

...the list thus far

sunshine

day 5... a good day for dandelions

5 days here and i finally see the sun. the first signs of summer are here! now don't get me wrong i love a good rainy day and snuggling up with a cup of tea but the warm weather just does it for me. there's something about summer time..in portland especially...that puts people in a good mood. not to mention it is filled with bike rides and playing tennis and barbeques and meeting new people..all of which happened today. i'm beginning to think i was made for this place.

soundtrack of my life right now

so goodbye for a while
i'm off to explore every boundary and every door.
i'm out to learn more
about who i really was before.
yeah i'm going north.
missy higgins

what i'm learning

after living in california for the past 3 years, there a few things i will have to get used to while living in portland this summer...
1. i can't pump my own gas. trust me i've tried and received scornful looks from the gas station attendants (i'm not sure if they have official names or anything) then i saw him sneak a peak at my license plate and i'm pretty sure he judged me as a silly californian even though i am far from it. i contemplated sharing with him my story about how i'm really from colorado and proud of it but my parents moved to california after i was away at college and i had to get california plates, but i figured the damage had already been done. no room for excuses, everyone should know that you don't pump your own gas in oregon. but i learned my lesson..i will never try that again.
2. there is a lack of toilet seat covers. perhaps because it is seen as a waste of paper?
3. people at stores completely support helping you reduce, reuse and recycle. whether this means cramming 18 items into one trader joes bag or giving you the option of no receipt. i could get used to this.
4. when giving directions, people always draw you a map. in costa mesa it's take a left or hang a right or go toward the ocean and most of the time i'm not even sure where i am, i just know which way to go..but in portland everything is made simple by drawing it out. i also appreciate this.
5. there are great 24 hour places to study late, go out for coffee at midnight or enjoy some crazy donuts. voodoo donuts has a wide variety of things you would never assume to be on a donut. for example: bacon, froot loops, captain crunch, oreos and caramel, just to name a few. also, the 24 hour starbucks is a great alternative to our 11pm closing time and provides a great space for late night studiers.
6. the vanilla lattes here are killer. you thought starbucks was good? try one from a local coffee shop. i could drink them all day.
7. people don't freak out when it rains. it is a regular occurance and instead of people suddenly forgetting how to drive when it starts sprinkling, everyone just throws their hood on and continues business as usual.
8. the people are so friendly. and it's more than just the surfer/beach town feel, it's like people really wanna just talk to you.
there's bound to be a long list of these lessons to be learned but it's only my 2nd day in this wonderful city and i'm loving every bit of it.